insomnia

slight sounds disturb my gentle dreams...they came back from party.
lights turn on. i wake up and anonymous fear surround me....i know the insomnia is coming.
what can a heavy head combining an empty stomach do?
20 mins pass,i decide to have a fresh apple.
and then, switch on laptop,log on bbc.com,begin my routine news-addicted journey.

last night, when i was reading Times in empik, a phrase strike me---in some sense---wake me up.
it's a Q&A session on a journalist who lost his correspondent husband while they release a series of reports in Pakistan. she answers some selected questions from readers all around the world in a way of objective journalist;a sorrowful wife;a strong mother and, a movie critics.
she's stubborn in her carrer, grow even more strong after her husband's miserable death.
apparantly, she's a victim, but her 'revenge' is to be more justice and more pitful towards others tragedy.
the phrase stun me is, which i thought a lot, but now almost forget----LIFE MISSION.
what's ur life mission,Ann?
i do want to be a serious woman, who is useful to others and royal to God.
i don't have a heart as mighty as she is. i don't have a will as strong as she is.
i don't have a 'mission' as clear as she is. i don't have a smile as beautiful as she is.
sometimes, feel like my gloomy and sinster soul occupy my whole body.
i'm not living a life leads towards truth.but neither, i don't want to stay away from it.

what's ur life mission, Ann?